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As if they knew I was having a rough first week of 2013, Angel Haze and Azealia Banks decided to have a good ol’ fashioned late-’90s New York City rap brawl. The two lyrical ladies are anything but ladylike when it comes to the way they’ve been treating each other. They first locked horns on Twitter yesterday. Supposedly, this is the tweet heard ’round the world that set it off:

Seriously, if you were not born and raised in NY…. DON’T CLAIM NY. YOU ARE NOT A NEW YORKER.

— YUNG RAPUNXEL (@AZEALIABANKS) January 3, 2013

And from there, it got real, with the Michigan-born Miss Haze taking the comment as an attack on her song “New York”, in which she raps, “I run New York”. From there, the tiff escalated to a terrifying level of vitriol only seen at all-girls high schools, or on an episode of Beyond Scared Straight. These are just two choice tweets:

okay, im seriously done with azebra’s madagascar 4 looking ass. say it in a song. or tell the people why you’re really salty. #notjusttweets

— ?Young Gypsy?(@AngelHaze) January 3, 2013

I’m bout to rip this bitch’s head off and toss it in the cauldron .

— YUNG RAPUNXEL (@AZEALIABANKS) January 4, 2013

And then came the diss tracks. Oh, the sweet diss tracks.

Angel comes first with “On the Edge”, spitting in devastating machine-gun verses.

Azealia let the pot simmer for less than a day, then responded with “No Problems”, a quieter, slower, but equally menacing counterpart.

Angel’s disses start PG-13:

• “I’m here to f**kin’ teach ‘em / You the f**kin’ lesson”
• “You forever be broke with expensive taste”

Then, R:

• “with a f**king meat cleaver, I’m like ‘Who want beef?’”

Then get a little… uh:

• “You be fucking n***** on they oxygen tanks”
• “Nappy-headed Chia pet / Ghetto f**king |Easter bunny”

Azealia growls stuff like:

• “These Angels need Jesus”
• “You sloppy d*ke, you want to lick a b*tch / you probably bite, I aint bout it b*tch / you not my type, I need a badder b*tch.”

The switches the flow to destroy on the second verse:

• “You a man with your d*ck back.”

“Ether” and “Supa Ugly” — the Nas & Jay-Z diss tracks by which all New York diss tracks must be judged — might be better pieces of music, but the hate is there. And the hate, my friends, is what matters.

Listen to the songs below, then vote in our poll. Who won The Great Angel Haze/Azealia Banks Beef of 2013?